#I don’t know how I really am

[skellytheskeleton]

About a week ago my sibling and I was having a conversation about random shit. I couldn’t fully understand what they were saying cause we were facing opposite directions. At some point the said something that sounded like they were referring to me as their brother and it hit something in me.

2 or so days later, we were at the mall and I wanted to ask them something. I was very embarrassed but I asked them if they would refer to me as their brother and told them about my misunderstanding. They agreed and we didn’t talk about it after that.

Today I remember it and I wanted to see if they remembered. For some reason I felt scared and embarrassed but I did ask if they remembered and they said yes and that was it.

I’ve been trying to experiment with my gender identity for a while now but every time I do it never goes anywhere. When I tell people to refer to me by different pronouns they forget about it cause I never have anything concrete and don’t remind them. It doesn’t help that I also forget too.

I don’t know why I’m embarrassed or scared to ask my siblings to call me something as simple as brother. I’m not even asking them to call me by he/him but I feel dread when asking about it. Maybe because it feels more concrete when it’s my own flesh and blood ok asking instead of just a friend.

Ive been struggling with this for a while. Where I feel a sense of euphoria when being refer to as a boy but not enough dysphoric to want to stop being a girl. I’ve looked in the mirror so many times, looked at my body, my chest, it doesn’t feel wrong but I can do imagine myself without it.

I think a big reason why I never stick with different pronouns is because I feel like an imposter. Like im faking it. Like I’m not dysphoric enough to be trans or gender-fluid or something else. I feel like I’m putting on an act for attention from people far more vocal about these things. I feel wrong feel bad feel unworthy.

I feel like I’m just looking for things to make me ‘special’ when I’m really not. Maybe I’m embarrassed because it’s all a farce and when it’s revealed I’ll be publicly ridiculed for labeling myself as a minority when in reality I’m not. Maybe im scared because I can’t tell if who I’m looking at in the mirror is really me or not.

I don’t know who I am

[awnrii]

troy saga/underworld saga

[lycandrophile]

it’s so funny to me that people used to try to warn me “if you go on t it won’t make you androgynous it’ll just make you look like a man” because 1) i do want to look like a man, that is famously a major part of being a trans man but also 2) t literally has made me androgynous?? like they were wrong on both counts. i got most of the looking-like-a-man changes that i wanted (deep voice, broader body, hair all over my body including my face) and i also give every single cis person in a five mile radius a stroke every time they try to figure out my gender. the assumption that trans men wouldn’t actually want to look like men and the assumption that cis people are good at correctly gendering us once we’re on t are both weird as hell.

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[electronicmail]

Firefox-official vs electronicmail

Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby

okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing

[fisherrprince]

Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”

[aurlworthfightingfor]

Look at him. Aaaaahhhh worried people won’t like him on baftas 😱

[lillyosaurus]

UNSTOPPABLE FORCE.

I like Ultrakill a normal amount guys.. trust me..

[habken]

what’s that thing called where you learn a little and thing you’re decent and then learn more and realize you actually don’t know anything at all cause that’s how I’m feeling about maya

[greatsilverini]

I’m trying out tumblr at the suggestion of my friend trish so here’s some art

[mossy-paws]

Sword PHIGHTING! period cramps moodboard

Gods mightiest warrior…….

Og image:

ANYWAYS EXTRA BITS!!!! So. Yeah. I wasted exactly 27 hours and 29 minutes of my life making this over a period of like. ~a week and a half LMAO????? I THINK IT WAS LONGER?? Yeah all of these are completely redrawn from the Og “panels”, replicating the dungeon meshi style is. MISERABLE I don’t know why I did this to myself holy fucking shit, all of you blame @squiffer-salad for this monstrosity she’s the reason why this exists in the first place /silly

anyways, I highly recommend looking at the panels individually because I put a lot of fun extra bits in them and just. A LOT of effort in general, any likes, reblog’s, or comments are insanely appreciated since this did take such a long time :’DDD, everything in these minus the backgrounds are completely redrawn/shaded/and colored by hand, this includes mid/screen tones as I used specific layers for those! anyways thank you for coming to my period cramp projection ted-talk I’m going back into my Everglade hole.

[codgod]

this is still very very subject to change but i think i’ve finally got at least the base concept for what i wanted my hermitcraft joel design to be lol

[blackbatcass]

listen I know it’s kind of corny and inaccurate to act like every single person in the dc universe knows each other and is besties but it IS endlessly funny to me to follow the web of connections and see how many degrees removed from each other everyone is.

like look at the arrowfam okay. ollie and dinah are together, ollie is homoerotic best friends with hal, dinah is homoerotic best friends with babs. roy is dating dick, has a kid with jade, and is basically an adoptive father to both grant emerson and rose wilson. connor is dating kyle and is constantly followed around by eddie fyers. mia is friends with a lot of the second gen teen titans kids, had an on-again-off-again thing going on with steph for a while, and is currently dating sienna. emiko is besties with courtney and some of the other recent teen titans. sin has a small army of protective aunts from the birds of prey. the real question is how far does it go before ollie puts a cap on the number of people who are invited to family brunch on sundays

[turtleblogatlast]

One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.

And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.

Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.

(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)

[fireladybuckley]

I can’t believe a boyfriend made a silly sex joke to lighten the mood after both partners had a moment of vulnerability. The audacity. The horror. The normalcy! Unbelievable. How dare a conversation about feelings turn to levity. How dare a couple have a light chat about trauma-related things over dinner that doesn’t turn into an incredibly deep heart to heart instead of a joke and moving on. Unbelievable. I’m never watching this show again! 👎🏻